so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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