made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize