If i could tip my vagina, i would.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
