I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She said her name was "party"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
