You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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