I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
