apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
