This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
