the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
