dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
