I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
