i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
