My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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