is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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