I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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