He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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