Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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