The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize