If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
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You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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