In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
