found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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