Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
NoShamevember. You game?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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