Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
