Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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