She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
