Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
