Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
