8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
