Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
