You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is the high leading the old right now
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
