how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
