Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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