He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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