I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
