I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
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She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
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Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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