these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
