I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize