I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
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