I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
