She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
