In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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