i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
