Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
