shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
