He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
