Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
