Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
