the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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