Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
