I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
