im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
