i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
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let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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