he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I wish you could order shots online.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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