Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I came so hard my ears popped.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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