Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
