i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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