And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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