I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
whose parrot is this?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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