Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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