the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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