sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
