I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
