the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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