while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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