So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
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