What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
