he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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