you traded sex for a burrito?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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