i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
