watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
