these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
